. . . . . . . The Daily Blarf

Saturday, May 29, 2004

days spent: 6
miles jeeped: 1500+
sit ups sat: 40
push ups pushed: 33
hernia inspections: 1

hearing tests failed: 1

percent chance that i'm NOT going to get into the NYS police academy: 99.999%.

after failing the trooper's hearing exam, i was told that i would have to be tested again by an independent audiologist. three hearing tests later, it was assumed that a hearing aid could fix the high frequency hearing loss in my right ear, which would be allowed under trooper rules. i went as far as to have an impression of my ear canal taken and picked out a style of hearing aid. but, after reading the rules a little closer and talking to some trooper folks, we learned that my right ear hearing was already so low on the high frequencies that i was disqualified, regardless of what a hearing aid could do.


what an amazing amount of power and pain in one little word.

when i heard it from my audiologist, i just shut my eyes. after i got off the phone, i walked around in a stunned silence. not in a state of surprise, but rather in a state of "i knew this was going to happen, yet i can't believe it, and it totally blows."

i moped around.

i sat and stared at the kitchen table.

i stared out the window and watched a trooper drive by on route 81 on this bright sunny day.

and then i cried.

this sucks.

i have not yet talked to the trooper audiologist myself. there is a single photon of light at the end of this tunnel, and this audiologist has it in his hand. they've done gimmies for other candidates--they really want more trooper candidates--

"only 39 pushups? don't worry about it."
"a few pounds over the weight limit? keep on that and be sure you lose it."
"not exactly a stellar background check? just keep the hell out of trouble from now on."
"got a little hearing problem there, sonny? don't worry about it--you're other ear is way better than average. just get that hearing aid and you'll be fine."

i haven't heard that last one yet and i don't expect to. this holiday weekend sure is going to be a long one waiting til he's back in the office on tuesday.

every time i see a trooper now, it burns, and after driving 1500 miles in a week, i've seen a lot of them. while at work at the dealership, i have to look at the trooper cars in the repair shop. before, i used to stare at those crown vics and hope for the future. now i can't look at all. it plain sucks too much. i honestly saw myself as a perfect candidate for the academy--strictly diciplined, college smart, street smart, stern yet friendly, no bullshit but still fun, in shape, ready to go. i love the excitement of what they do. hell, i get uptight when i see someone flick a cigarette butt out the window. i'm all about this stuff.

but now i'm lost. i just spent the last year and a half preparing for the academy. i've held my breath in dreadful anticipation for the last six months, from the last physical in albany til this one. why couldn't they have done the hearing test in october?

i've been straining my current job from all this time off lately for trooper stuff. and at my last job, i got demoted for pursuing the academy, to which i said "suck it easy" and quit. so now i'm in a dead end job, making less than minimum wage as of late, and my only hope for getting out of this financial hell is now gone. if only i got in, i'd have all my bills paid. if only i got in, i'd never have to write another resume again. or worry about health insurance. or retirement. or anything at all.

after a couple of aimless days, i've started to think about other options. i have to admit, i've always had more drive and excitement for owning my own business. my plan was to do that on the side (on my days off from the trooper job) and build it up to the point that i could do it full time after 20 years (the earliest i could retire from police work.) now, it will hopefully happen a lot sooner. just one problem--NO GODDAMN MONEY TO DO IT WITH.

i've got lots of ideas, but i keep coming back to one thing--auto detailing. i know how to do that. and i want to learn interior repairs, vinyl and leather repairs, stuff like that. i have the option of doing that with a guy that comes in to the dealership. and i'd also like to learn paintless dent removal and paint touch up. (all of this may sound like mundane bullshit to the typical person, but there is money in this kind of stuff.) but again, the problem is start-up money. and there's nothing else to fall back on in case of failure, no affordable health insurance, etc.

and then there's that dream of going down south and getting on a NASCAR team. that one's pretty far fetched, especially since i don't care to be sweeping up lug nuts on the shop floor for 16 hours a day. that's about all i'd be qualified for. this damn college education gets less and less powerful every year. my automotive tech degree is totally out of date. my cornell degree... shit, i don't even know what "general studies" means. and "good freakin' luck" to myself concerning any other police job--my carthage police interview a couple days ago was pretty fruitless:

"do you have a criminal justice degree?"
"do you have any law enforcement experience?"
"uh, no."
"fire police?"
"anything at all?"
"well, i was a volunteer fire department member and an EMT."
"oh, good. well, then..."

i didn't mention that i was a member for like, only a couple of months, and had NO time to participate. nor did i mention that my EMT training expired a year ago. other than those disasterous questions, i did well at turning chicken shit into chicken salad and the interviewer seemed to like me. chances of getting in are pretty slim though.


i must say that some good has come of all this. i am in the best shape of my life--i have rock hard abs and arms like nobody's business, and i can run like a mofo. i have conditioned myself to watch my weight and eat right. i love being in shape. to meet the vision requirements, i had lasik surgery done a year ago and it was the best money i've ever spent--i LOVE it. and maybe i'll get that hearing aid just for every day life--who knows what i've been missing?? i shaved the goat, too--that could be a good thing--the jury's still out on that one. i've had an extensive background check that turned up nothing bad at all, and i also was pleasantly surprised to learn that my credit report is not only spotless but premium-tiered. overall, it's been a good experience. too bad, however, that it couldn't have ended in a good experience.

well, blogger is batting 1000 again--it cut off the end of my post. this was after it screwed up and lost half of it the first time. don't get me wrong, i love blogging for free, but GOD DAMN, what a pain in the ass. now i've got to remember what else i wrote yesterday. ok, let's see...back to the story:

perhaps being home this weekend will shed some light on what i'm supposed to do with my life. sunday dinner with the fam and the methodist church chicken BBQ on memorial day will give lots of time to hang with the family and maybe get some ideas and answers.

already, i've seen a trooper pull over three cars on the highway behind our house--hows that for painful irony? arrrggh!!

thanks to all of you who have called and written. leave some comments!

Thursday, May 20, 2004

with the police academy potentially looming ahead and with encouragement from mark and josh, i finally decided to shave my goatee--again.

sure, i've shaved it before--probably three or four times since i've had it. but every time i've shaved, i've shuddered in horror at the result and immediately grown it back. now that i think about it, i had this thing for six years! (for almost as long as the scrambler!) the goatee and i, we've had lots of good times--two colleges, five jobs, three girlfriends. the girlfriends and non-girlfriends alike have always seemed to like it. hell, i like it too--it's done a great job of covering up my jaw, which i love to hate--let's just say i don't have a jay leno jaw.

but the day of the goatee has passed, at least a little bit. my slightly rebellious facial statement has now been washed down the bathroom sink. this time it is hopefully gone for good, because if i get in the academy i can't grow it back. if i don't get in, well, i can decide later if i want it again.


first, i started by removing the miami vice stubble that i've been sporting for a couple weeks now. it looked nice and was well composed, but had sleaze potential. keeping the stubble thing looking sharp, rather than lazy-bum-like, ain't easy, so...bye bye.


i couldn't bring myself to make the initial goat hackjob with the trimmer. i got it about an inch away from my chin several times, but the evil buzzing noise was intimidating. i felt like i was about to smash a classic car with a sledgehammer. i just couldn't do it at first. too overwhelming.

the first mowing took out the center of the chin, leaving me with a lumberjack-fireman thing.

the 2nd cutting took off everything else under the mouth except for the soul patch.

and then... bye bye to the "child molester" mustache. (isn't it ironic that only criminals and cops have mustaches?)

and all that was left was the soul patch... which i fought with myself about keeping. it wasn't bad--a nice, clean look but with a hint of rebellion. but the academy says NO facial hair, so away it went. no point in shaving most it if you can't have any of it.

and the result? not as awful as i expected. not as awful as every other time. maybe this could work...

...i did like that soul patch though. kinduv like a fred durst looking thing. not like colonel sanders.

just my luck. wouldn't you know, the girl i just met LIKED the goatee. *&%$^#@*&%$#!!

click here for a good ESPN article about soul patches. www.askmen.com is a good source for stuff like this too if you are having facial hair issues like i am. this guy went thru exactly the same shaving process as i did.

Saturday, May 15, 2004

the 70th percentile--finally and officially reached: 1.5 mile run in 10 min, 12 sec. 40 pushups in 47 sec. 45 situps in 58 sec.

in regards to the above, I RULE.

still scared shitless about the hearing test though... i can't wait for it to be over, for the good or the bad.

6 days until judgement day.

i watched 'solaris' (w/george clooney) and unfortunately it kinda sucked. i was expecting something like 2001: a space odyssey. no such luck except for the blatantly copied musical score. shoulda rented 'old school'. damn.

and then i watched 'bowling for columbine'. an excellent flick, albeit a bit too much of a good thing. i wouldn't go so far as to piss off charlton heston in his own home even if he is ultra-pro-gun. and blaming dick clark, and then Kmart, for problems involving gun control in this country is a bit much, but it does make good points. it definitely gives a different view towards gun ownership and the mystery surrounding violence in this country, especially to a person such as myself who is hoping to get into law enforcement. there's quite simply too many silly SOBs with guns in this country and too much silly bullshit in general. people just have to stop being stupid--that's the answer! what a simple solution! why hasn't anyone else thought of that?

it's definately a better film than solaris, although that isn't saying much at all.


why am i watching movies on a saturday night? shouldn't i be djing? normally, yes, but the owner has decided that saturdays are too dead to justify having a dj, so i will be doing fridays only from now on. i'm not surprised; the place has always been dead and to be perfectly honest, he could do just fine playing the party mix channel on cable (like he does when i'm not there.) but there is something to be said for having a live dj--like last night when people were having a great time and giving me tips and complements and stuff--but sometimes it just aint worth it. (tips, i try to avoid accepting--it locks you in to playing potentially shitty requests, but that's a whole nuther story.) ...anyway...

about djing just one night a week--i have mixed feelings about that. at first i kinda felt like i had just been stood up by a girl or something (bar owner: "uh, ben, i don't need you tonight...") but then again, it's nice to have a saturday nite to myself. BUT...i sure could use that 75 bucks i woulda made djing. ugh. now i'm hoping the other guy calls me about djing on mondays and tuesdays. i could fit that into my schedule now, i suppose.

i considered a million options for my first saturday off but i decided to lay low for once--movies, computer, burn cds, housekeeping. i called "Girl X" who is... working tonight. oh well. i'm a wild man on a saturday night! party time for me and the fish.

my fishies! on my craptacular webcam. (note: not the original Sharkie--this is Sharkie IV...or is it V?)

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

wow, look at the new blogger--pretty swank. now i've got to re-learn a bunch of stuff. it's like having someone rearranging your bathroom--everythings still there, and the toilet hasn't moved, but who knows where the hell your toothbrush is.

i know, i've been slacking lately. but look at everyone else--madpony, jonny Q, orangenutts, the non, etc.--they're all slacking, so i don't feel as bad.

trooper update: the next medical/physical is scheduled. the long wait is nearing the end. just another month and i should know if i'm in or not. i'm not holding my breath--i'll be pleasantly surprised if i do get in. today's 1.5 mile practice run took 10:46:93--and that's 7 hundredths of a second faster than i need to match the 70th percentile--the time needed to graduate from the academy. pushups: 40 in 50 seconds; well under the minute limit. situps: 45 in one minute, 48 hundredths. 48!!! so close. soooo close. it's my goal to be at the graduation level before i get in (that's if i get in.) to enter the academy, among other things, you must run the mile and a half in 12:18, and 40 situps and 33 pushups in a minute each--child's play! barring any unforseen injuries, passing the physical exam will again be easy. but i want that 70th percentile now. it will happen soon. no injuries, no injuries...

it was in the plans to blog today, and here i am doing it, albeit a bit later than i hoped. i spent the afternoon in the grand metropolis of Freeville, NY, visiting with my friends becky and jason. we haven't hung out in a while and they've had a new house for about a year now and it's high time i went over to see it. when i rolled in the drive, jason ("ingram") had just crawled out of a silty, muddy hole in the back yard and was covered from head to toe with muck and crap. he had on his shitty clothes and he looked ten years older than usual. ahh, the pleasures of home ownership. look what it does to you.

i was immediately recruited to stand in the basement (or, i should say, hunch over in the low-overhead basement) to listen for and locate a drain hole as ingram shoved a drain snake in the pipe from, like, what seemed like 500 freaking feet away out in the back yard (in the silty mudhole.) no luck--i heard nothing but the electric hum of the water softener. apparently his basement gets really wet and the drain is possibly located under the furnace, but no one knows for sure. it was my guess that the drain has been filled in and the end of the snake was bonking up against a concrete wall somewhere. but who knows. only time, or perhaps dynamite, will tell.

after that project was abandoned, i got the grand tour of the place and i was pleasantly surprised to find that it was not the condemned hellhole ingram had described it as. we had a nice steak dinner and had a great time catching up and telling stories. all this talk made me want to move back to the area. yet another reason to come back to ithaca. plus, ingram is a pilot and gets to jet all over the country--maybe i could stow away if i was in the area more often. i'd be up for a trip somewhere--anywhere, i don't care.

on a side note, this was my second (free!) steak in a row--i got a free dinner with the boss and coworkers last night at delmonico's on erie blvd in syracuse. never been there before but i've wanted to go. that was a good time as well. hey, not too bad--two social events and two free steaks in as many nights. i've had neither in a while.

have you ever had a conversation with someone that you know you know but you just can't remember who the hell it is you're talking to? yes, you have. and i had one of those today. i was at wegmans, dressed in my crappy gym clothes (why are there always a million hot girls at wegmans when i'm dressed like white trash, but none when i'm in khakis and dress shirts??) so anyway.. i was at wegmans and i ran into a middle-aged woman, who looked entirely familiar, and we stopped to talk. she knew: 1. my name, 2. that i had recently changed jobs, and 3. knew enough about my family to ask how they were doing. this was 3 things more than i could remember about her. the whole time i was thinking "her name will come to me" but it didn't and we parted ways. I'd pulled off the act that i'd known who she was. as i walked away, i couldn't for the life of me remember who she was and my only guess was the dean of the ag school at cornell which made no sense at all cuz what the hell would she be doing at the wegmans in syracuse and how would she remember who i was from, like, 3-4 years ago? but that was all i had to go on. so, knowing that i would not be able to sleep at night not knowing the answer, i circled the store until i saw her again and asked her who the hell she was (i didn't say it like that, but yeah)--turns out she's my ex girlfriends aunt-- DOH! dumbass! i felt like a total dope but i made it look funny somehow and she didn't mind my stupidness, and we talked some more til i had to go.

i guess i had the "right" to forget who she was since i haven't seen her since... uhh... last year? i can't remember when. i had to call the ex and tell her about it before the story trickled down to her in maryland. it was a good excuse for the ex and i to catch up, and a good excuse for her to call & catch up with her aunt.

and it's 12:27 and that's a good excuse for me to go to bed. more exciting blarf later.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

"mom, my pickup's broken down, can i borrow your Escalade to use at work today? mommm???"

here i sit, blarfing once again. sit and blarf. blarf and sit. blarf blarf blarf. the trees are leafing out and the pollen has riled my allergies. the post nasal drip has me burping up my own snot. its a rainy afternoon. blah.

BUT now when driving the scrambler in the rain, i'll be nice n' dry! well, more like "cold and dry", but that's better than "cold and wet"--since the windshield frame was rotted out, rainwater ran thru it & into the dashboard and leaked out all over hell. it dripped off the gauges. it dripped off the lighter. it dripped into the ashtray (hey, your cig would be instantly extinguished!) and i'm not talking about no cute little drips either, i mean those big-ass double drips that are one drip away from being a steady stream. and the worst thing is, it always dripped on my damn shoes, and always right behind the tongue of the shoe and ONTO MY GODDAMN SOCKS. my right foot was hopeless since i don't have cruise control, therefore i must have my foot in the line of fire, and my left foot was also screwed cuz even more water would come out when going around corners (which happens to be when my left foot is working the clutch.)


see, i ordered a new windshield frame from the jeep catalogs. the best thing is, i work at a dealership, so the body shop was more than happy to have my business. the ex-stoner (from the April 11th 'u-joints' post, see below) painted it for me--good ole Intense Blue Pearl. and the shop foreman himself went about switching out the windshield. i was gonna do that myself, but he cautioned, "you'd better let me do that, it's easy to break those windshields!" i'd done it once before but i figured it was a good idea to let him do it, so to work he went. and within 5 minutes of having my jeep, there was a nice set of foot-long cracks in my windshield radiating from one corner to the other.

wonderful. now what? they don't sell windshields for jeep scramblers at walmart.

with his pride now damaged as badly as the windshield, the foreman went to his office and called his "people" about locating a new windshield. THIS is when being in a large city pays off--J&T Automotive & Auto Glass took care of us. we assumed that jeep YJ wrangler windshields, which are more common, would be a match. i delivered the newly painted frame to them so they could put in the new glass for us, which would would hopefully be done today. since the old glass and the old frame were now both useless and both coming off the vehicle in one piece, i wanted to hang onto it and make a garage wall-hanging out of it so i could forever keep my beloved 'Jeep Jamboree USA' sticker, but as it turned out, the glass shop needed the old one to cut the new windshield (aparently that's what they do if your windshield is flat glass and not curved.) so unfortuneately the old glass had to be removed, and in the process of giving life to the new glass, it was rendered a dangerously sharp, unsalvageable mess. (to remove my registration and inspection stickers, the back side had to be heated with a torch, which cracks the living shit out of the glass.) (resulting in MANY more cracks than it already had.)

but after it was all said and done, i had a new frame--and a snazzy, specialty-cut windshield, and all that's left to do is rewire my rear-view mirror lights. oh, and i have to pay the paint & labor bill. the question still remains, though, who's paying for the windshield??? i was asked if i had comprehensive coverage, which i don't (and i wouldn't make a claim in this situation anyway) and the body shop foreman didn't imply i was paying...hmmmm...in most car repair situations, if a part breaks, the owner pays, not the shop....but this is a tricky one. this will be the million-dollar question when i'm back to work tomorrow. i'll be fighting, cuz my wallet can't put up much of a fight.

my 'Jeep Jamboree USA' sticker (behind the airborne cat) is now history. ah, i guess it looks better without it--and the exact same sticker is on the back window anyway.

ham and eggs (10:10:34 PM): 10:10 already
ham and eggs (10:11:05 PM): the blarf just puked again
scrambler (10:13:32 PM): reload it
ham and eggs (10:13:38 PM): i did
scrambler (10:13:43 PM): are you watching MXE?
ham and eggs (10:13:54 PM): no.
ham and eggs (10:13:57 PM): for the umpteenth time.
ham and eggs (10:14:04 PM): tv, computer, not same room
scrambler (10:14:32 PM): then get off the computer
ham and eggs (10:16:07 PM): tv rots your brain.
ham and eggs (10:16:10 PM): you should blarf.
scrambler (10:16:33 PM): too tired to blarf
scrambler (10:17:09 PM): blarf isnt good for you either
scrambler (10:20:29 PM): funking halarieee oo us
ham and eggs (10:20:48 PM): twatever
ham and eggs (10:21:04 PM): did you get today's free itunes song?
ham and eggs (10:21:06 PM): avril lavigne
scrambler (10:21:38 PM): not yet and i got screwed out of yesterdays song
ham and eggs (10:22:20 PM): lol
ham and eggs (10:24:37 PM): *sigh* here we go
scrambler (10:24:50 PM): yepper

PresidentJ (11:16:55 PM): yo
scrambler (11:17:11 PM): sup
PresidentJ (11:17:19 PM): nothing much
PresidentJ(11:17:30 PM): just trying not to do this work I have to do
PresidentJ (11:17:37 PM): school sucks
scrambler (11:17:40 PM): you disappear off of IM like a fart in the wind
scrambler (11:17:42 PM): yes it does
PresidentJ (11:20:43 PM): yo do you play soccer
scrambler (11:20:54 PM): sorta why
scrambler (11:20:58 PM): not good at all
PresidentJ (11:21:05 PM): we play during the summer
PresidentJ (11:21:09 PM): we need people
scrambler (11:21:15 PM): i'm shitty
PresidentJ (11:21:16 PM): if you wanna play you can
PresidentJ (11:21:20 PM): it doesnt matter
scrambler (11:21:36 PM): well, if i dont get into the academy, i'm all yours.. when is it?
scrambler (11:22:24 PM): i actually have cleats somewhere
PresidentJ (11:22:36 PM): do you think you will get in the academy
scrambler (11:23:01 PM): no idea... totally no idea.. but i should know in less than a month
scrambler (11:23:38 PM): any hot chickies?
PresidentJ (11:23:41 PM): some
scrambler (11:23:46 PM): sweet
PresidentJ (11:26:49 PM): were trying to get it together now
PresidentJ (11:26:50 PM): ok
PresidentJ (11:26:50 PM): cool
scrambler (11:27:19 PM): as long as i dont hurt my ass and screw up my lifelong career plans
scrambler (11:27:33 PM): since i need to be in shape and in one piece
PresidentJ (11:27:47 PM): haha
PresidentJ (11:28:05 PM): I am very aggressive when i play
scrambler (11:28:12 PM): i'll funk you up
scrambler (11:28:39 PM): i'm soo shitty you will be running circles around my whitey ass
PresidentJ (11:28:43 PM): haha
scrambler (11:29:04 PM): i wanna learn to golf
PresidentJ (11:29:31 PM): you should come with us sometime
PresidentJ (11:29:37 PM): I havent been out yet
scrambler (11:30:04 PM): i need to go to a driving range first and have a hot golf pro chick show me how to hit the ball
PresidentJ (11:30:17 PM): haha
scrambler (11:31:47 PM): well i gotta snooze but gimmie a call when you get some soccer plans finalized
PresidentJ (11:32:19 PM): ok cool
PresidentJ (11:32:21 PM): later man
scrambler (11:32:24 PM): later

scrambler (10:40:16 PM): ok.. i'm losing faith in the top 100 iTunes downloads.. now i see "under the sea" from the little mermaid is #99!!!!
scrambler (10:40:36 PM): it must be one person that downloaded it and now its on the chart
ham and eggs (10:41:08 PM): duuuuuuuuude
ham and eggs (10:41:14 PM): they JUST launched disney collections
ham and eggs (10:41:15 PM): JUST
ham and eggs (10:41:18 PM): it was promoted on the homepage
scrambler (10:43:08 PM): ahhh but how many people are after that song? THAT song? i cant believe its many
ham and eggs (10:43:33 PM): the world would be pretty freaking dull if everyone was ben * ********

ham and eggs (10:44:17 PM): i HATE licking envelopes
scrambler (10:44:27 PM): spit on them
scrambler (10:44:33 PM): piss on them
scrambler (10:44:48 PM): ha ha you should piss on all your envelopes
ham and eggs (10:44:58 PM): ha ha my landlord would surely appreciate that
scrambler (10:45:17 PM): ha ha funny for some reason
ham and eggs (10:45:29 PM): ha ha jackass
scrambler (10:45:50 PM): i'm having a freaking gigglefit right now
ham and eggs (10:45:55 PM): silly bastard
scrambler (10:46:47 PM): i'm pissing myself.. i should be pissing on my envelopes
ham and eggs (10:47:01 PM): you need a girlfriend.
scrambler (10:47:26 PM): yes i do…gee, not sure why I don’t have one ??
ham and eggs (10:55:36 PM): *yawn*

Aleximov (11:12:31 PM): yo
scrambler (11:12:45 PM): sup?
scrambler (11:12:59 PM): i'm bitching about how my life sucks
Aleximov (11:13:05 PM): oh
scrambler (11:13:12 PM): you?
scrambler (11:13:20 PM): i want to move back to ithaca
Aleximov (11:13:20 PM): anything new or same shit different day
scrambler (11:13:31 PM): same shit, nice weather, different day
Aleximov (11:14:02 PM): and need to start worrying about moving to Des Moines as soon as I get back to Iowa
scrambler (11:16:07 PM): i should have a map to visualize
Aleximov (11:17:17 PM): i guess. or you can come out here and visit.
Aleximov (11:19:11 PM): iowa is very cool, let me tell you
Aleximov (11:19:15 PM): there is plenty to do
Aleximov (11:19:19 PM): we could look at corn
Aleximov (11:19:24 PM): or maybe some corn
Aleximov (11:19:27 PM): or how about corn
scrambler (11:19:27 PM): cornholes?
Aleximov (11:19:33 PM): lol
Aleximov (11:19:38 PM): we got hogs and beans too
Aleximov (11:19:54 PM): but also we have attractions like "Living History farms" which is really neat
scrambler (11:19:58 PM): hogs and beans hogs and beans
scrambler (11:20:03 PM): swank swines
Aleximov (11:20:24 PM): and a zoo and horse race track and sprint car races and polo of course and lots of golf
scrambler (11:20:35 PM): golf shmalf
Aleximov (11:20:36 PM): some nice parks
scrambler (11:20:43 PM): i wanna learn golf
Aleximov (11:20:43 PM): and amusement parks
Aleximov (11:20:57 PM): i should since iowa has the most golf courses per capita or something gay like that
scrambler (11:21:04 PM): really
Aleximov (11:21:08 PM): yeah
scrambler (11:21:09 PM): i should learn
Aleximov (11:21:18 PM): yeah, chicks dig it

ham and eggs (10:55:37 PM): wtf
ham and eggs (10:55:48 PM): i've had like 35 views on my match profile since last nite
ham and eggs (10:56:07 PM): i really need to figure out how to get fatties to stop writing me
ham and eggs (10:56:13 PM): i need to fattyproof the profile
scrambler (10:57:40 PM): just say so in the profile... looking for slim hotties
ham and eggs (10:58:03 PM): then i'd look like a prick
ham and eggs (10:58:05 PM): and no one would write

Aleximov (11:28:52 PM): u make a new blarf entry?
Aleximov (11:28:58 PM): maybe i should start blogging
Aleximov (11:29:03 PM): cept no one would read it
scrambler (11:30:51 PM): i'd read it and link you.. but its not easy to get readers.. i have few, as you know..
scrambler (11:31:14 PM): but i'd help you if you want to get started
Aleximov (11:31:23 PM): maybe after i get settled in des moines
Aleximov (11:32:06 PM): but... no motivation
scrambler (11:32:16 PM): same here.. i just force myself to do it out of need to "talk" to someone
scrambler (11:33:06 PM): ok i gotta snooze
Aleximov (11:33:31 PM): ok
scrambler (11:33:42 PM): night
Aleximov (11:34:43 PM): night night

scrambler (11:03:23): *sigh* i remember when we'd throw frat parties every night in my room at Alpha Zeta and i had girls girls girls and i'd have to drag my ass to work every morning... ah, to live 2001 again...
ham and eggs (11:03:59 PM): frigging nut
ham and eggs (11:04:04 PM): now look at you
ham and eggs (11:04:10 PM): it's you and the fish partying til 11
ham and eggs (11:04:21 PM): LOL.. i wrote "fist" first instead of "fish"... that too!
scrambler (11:07:26 PM): *sigh* truth to both statements
scrambler (11:07:39 PM): half of me wants to move back to ithaca
scrambler (11:07:48 PM): so many cute, smart young girls
ham and eggs (11:07:57 PM): do it
ham and eggs (11:08:05 PM): move right onto east hill
scrambler (11:08:08 PM): it would be a lame move
ham and eggs (11:08:11 PM): why?
ham and eggs (11:08:16 PM): it's a great town
scrambler (11:08:20 PM): what the hell would my excuse for going back be?
scrambler (11:08:29 PM): i wanna meet girls?
ham and eggs (11:08:26 PM): to get the hell out of syracuse
ham and eggs (11:08:29 PM): which is a slum
ham and eggs (11:08:43 PM): to be accessible to the north country and live in a town with some culture and charm
scrambler (11:09:30 PM): at least in ithaca i'd have AZ.. but even taht would make me feel lame, even though i'd be welcome
scrambler (11:09:40 PM): but you can never go back.. it would never be the same...
scrambler (11:09:52 PM): now i'm just depressing myself
scrambler (11:09:59 PM): wonderful
ham and eggs (11:10:02 PM): lol
ham and eggs (11:10:06 PM): lol
ham and eggs (11:10:22 PM): face it: life will never compare to 2000!
scrambler (11:10:57 PM): i could def find dj gigs in ithaca.. be on the AZ corp. board... shit, could be facility manager again in a heartbeat....
scrambler (11:11:01 PM): no no no i cant
scrambler (11:11:18 PM): its gone
scrambler (11:11:22 PM): the fun is gone
scrambler (11:11:34 PM): screwed i am
scrambler (11:11:44 PM): its me and the fish now and forever
scrambler (11:11:57 PM): damn damn damn
ham and eggs (11:11:59 PM): lol
ham and eggs (11:12:18 PM): blog now!
ham and eggs (11:12:19 PM): capture it!
ham and eggs (11:12:22 PM): get it into words!
scrambler (11:12:38 PM): i have enough misery on the blarf
ham and eggs (11:13:00 PM): but this is like coup de grace misery
scrambler (11:13:43 PM): maybe i'll cut & paste this convo
ham and eggs (11:14:02 PM): poor bastard
scrambler (11:14:21 PM): that would be miserable
ham and eggs (11:15:22 PM): not for me
scrambler (11:16:39 PM): with a little editing this would be a good post
scrambler (11:16:43 PM): a good miserable post
ham and eggs (11:17:31 PM): poor bastard
scrambler (11:18:21 PM): as;lfdas;flasf;lfjad;lafsdjafd;adslkdfsj
ham and eggs (11:18:32 PM): you need a break from your life
ham and eggs (11:18:36 PM): you need to visit Boston
scrambler (11:18:51 PM): i had a good break today.. had the jeep top down.. it was great
ham and eggs (11:22:22 PM): hmm
ham and eggs (11:22:31 PM): you derive too much pleasure from a vehicle
scrambler (11:22:42 PM): its the only pleasure i get
scrambler (11:27:57 PM): ok, are we done, cuz i'm ready to cut & paste & edit this bitch
scrambler (11:28:04 PM): and go to bed
scrambler (11:28:06 PM): bed
ham and eggs (11:29:45 PM): twatever
ham and eggs (11:29:48 PM): change my name
scrambler (11:30:09 PM): of course
ham and eggs (11:30:14 PM): merci
scrambler (11:30:24 PM): alright.. its snooztime