. . . . . . . The Daily Blarf

Monday, July 31, 2006


i'm finally back. Bug and i recently took a trip to Chicago. we met up with amyloo and critter--it was great! it was the first time either bug or i had ever left the eastern time zone, and what an adventure it was! bug loved the Cubs/Nationals game, as pictured above--and the cubbies actually WON!

for those concerned about bug's welfare, the trip to chicago was a gift to himself for making it through goat rehab. but without the letters, calls, and support of folks like you, he couldn't have made it through.

bug on the chicago coastline

on a crappier note, i managed to lose my digital camera on a city bus on the 2nd to last day of our trip. as you could imagine, the mental anguish of losing a $400 camera is almost as bad as the pain of losing several dozen pictures from a once-in-a-lifetime vacation. some *GREAT* photos are long gone, and i hope the asshole who found my camera (and didn't turn it over to the bus driver) really enjoyed them. and i also hope the camera did me one last favor and exploded in the shithead's face. i hope he died from shrapnel wounds. BASTARD! thanks go to Chicago's city bus line for being helpful and professional as i frantically called them on the hour every hour for their lost & found department. and special thanks to amyloo for supplying us with her pictures. still waiting for yours, critter! thanks in advance!!! *hint hint*

some other things we noticed:

1. chicago bums dress nicer than the middle class back home
2. chicago police cars still have the same paint scheme as seen in The Blues Brothers (and i could show with a photo of me standing next to one if I HAD MY GODDAMN CAMERA BACK)
3. wrigley field hasn't changed much either since the movie was made
4. chicago's Shedd Aquarium has some of the same fish i have at home, albiet they are larger
5. stewardesses don't like having drunken goats run up & down the aisles during a landing approach at O'Hare (we had to circle back around twice) (no pictures of that, either.)


after getting home, i got a new camera, which has partially healed the wounds of my loss:

the CANON POWERSHOT SD630! ooooh. ahhhh. ohhhh.
with the cost of the camera, the chicago trip proved a bit pricier that originally planned.


for those of you wondering why it took me over two months to blarf again, let me explain, quite simply, that from May 19th til July 11th, i had 0.00 days off. NONE. if i wasn't at The Job, i was at The Other Job. money was made, yes--but the finer things got tossed by the wayside. i apologize, especially to those of you who got testy from looking at a pic of Betty Ford for over 2 months.

i have no further comment on this matter, for fear of inciting a riot. moving right along to....



i recently learned that the phrase "cold enough to freeze the balls of a brass monkey" didn't start out with the same meaning i grew up with. the humor in it was the mental image of, well, the balls freezing off of a brass monkey. funny stuff. but in reality, it's an old British naval expression. cast iron cannon balls were stacked in pyramids on shallow brass trays called monkeys. when the temperature got really cold, the thermal expansion between the cast iron and the brass was such that the balls rolled off.

what was once a funny cliche just isn't so funny any more. bummer.


and now for a blarf viewership update:

some anomaly in the internet space-time continum has sparked a spike of international page views on the blarf, all stemming from this delightful photo of leah remini. i appreciate the extra attention, but the abnormal jump has skewed my viewership data. and in my internet-challenged mind, i'm subconciously fearing an all-out attack on the blarf. could the International Internet Commie Commandos be conspiring to bring the blarf to its knees and burn it down to the waterline? only time will tell. perhaps they could be appeased with more stolen photos of leah, such as this one:


and now what you've all been waiting for: words of wisdom and brain-shredding trivia from BUG!

Bug's ALL-NEW quote o' the day:

"i'm horny as a three-balled tomcat"

(give him a break, he's got to get back into the groove.)


1: what is the street address of Wrigley Field, as mentioned in The Blues Brothers?
2: what was the make, model, and year of the Bluesmobile?
3: what item did elwood trade the original Bluesmobile for while jake was in prison?
5: what does SCMODS stand for?
4: what illinois county does the city of chicago reside in?
4.5: how hard is it to put a goat on a commercial aircraft?
6: what type of overdose did John Belushi die from?

put answers in the comments. use a #2 pencil.