. . . . . . . The Daily Blarf

Friday, June 03, 2005


get your car inspected while you tan!

here's a brain-squeezer for y'all:

while on my way to st. lawrence county
i met a man with 7 trailer homes
and 7 trailers had 7 fat chicks
and 7 fatties had 7 scumbag boyfriends
and 7 scummies had 7 welfare checks
and 7 checks bought 7 packs of smokes
and 7 smokes were swiped by 7 teens
and 7 teens flicked 7 butts
and 7 butts bounced off 7 junk cars
and 7 cars had 7 bags of garbage in them
and 7 bags had 7 Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cans
and 7 cans had 7 bullet holes
and 7 holes had 7 fire ants
and 7 ants had
ENOUGH OF THIS REDNECK COUNTY AND MOVED THE HELL OUT

--fatties, scumbags, Pabst, ants--how many were going to st. lawrence county?

.
..
...
....
.....

answer: just one. the rest were ALREADY THERE.

st. lawrence county makes jefferson county look like norwich, CT.

i was one highly annoyed and naive jeff co. resident who made the mistake of following yahoo's driving directions to canton--the hard part being navigating from lafargeville to state route 11. yahoo sends you there via county rt. 194--the most potholed, twisted, remote, evil, redneck road in northern ny. the best way is to actually follow rt. 26 over to philly and get on 11 there. i figured this out by myself on the way back.

in st. lawrence county's defense, canton is a nice little town. but be warned--
you can't get there from here.

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for the sake of good blarf, the preceding brain-bleeder was dramatized for entertainment purposes only. the genesis actually began on co. rt. 194, which, i must admit, is on this side of the jefferson/st. lawrence border. my apologies (condolences?) to st. lawrence county and to the fine residents of county rt. 194. as for yahoo.com, they can burn in internet hell.

and yes, the above pic was taken in st. lawrence. co.

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and now the pangs of guilt stab into my heart for ripping on this novel entrepreneurial venture--a tanning/car repair/auto sales business. hell, joining forces like that is probably the only way to survive up there. shame on me. i'm such a prick.