. . . . . . . The Daily Blarf

Friday, November 05, 2004



GEORGE BUSH: The Posterchild for the Average American Idiot

the proof is in the pudding:

http://attenuation.net/files/iq.htm

-------

STORYTIME WITH BEN:

this is one of those "you had to be there" stories--imagine me telling it:

"so...so get this. this morning, us managers were all at the local diner eating breakfast, right? having a manager's meeting with the supervisor. as we were sitting there talking about sales & employees & mufflers & shit, one of the guys, mike, realizes a tube of super glue in his pocket has started leaking, right? the stuff is soaking into his pocket and the skin on leg is burning. so he pulls the glue out of his pocket, sets it on the table for a moment, puts it back in his pocket, and heads to the bathroom to wash his hands. friggin' guy, like he's gonna be able to wash off super glue, right?? so anyway, there's a drop of super glue left on the table. chris sees this and takes mike's coffee cup and sets it on top of the glue! keep in mind this cup is like 2/3rds full and now it's glued to the goddamn table. so then the waitress* comes along to fill our cups, grabs his, can't move it, and quickly pulls her hand away to avoid drawing attention. the whole time she's probably thinking she's lost her damn mind. so she leaves, and we're all trying not to bust out laughing--but that's not all! mike comes back from the bathroom and can't get his cup off the table, even with two hands!! we were expecting the cup to fly off the table and fling coffee all over the place. he was about ready to ask for a straw but he finally pried it off the table with a butter knife."

--ahh, freakin FUNNY!!! you had to be there.

*don't feel bad for the waitress--she's the same one who told the table next to us that all the dishes were "turd-dirty" and they'd have to wait a few minutes for silverware.