the blarf just isn't the same without a good old bitchfest.
today's topic: the new coinless laundry system at my apartment complex.
goddamn. i hate it.
the management was proud to announce that we would soon be getting a coinless laundry system. i thought, there's got to be a catch. what's in it for the laundry company? new machines and hi-tech card-swiping shit isn't cheap. well, in the end, it is. to start out, they graciously give you a swipe card with $3 on it. that will get you a free wash & dry. BUT... you have to pick up the card at the office, during business hours. this is sunday and i need to get laundry done. so i had to buy a card out of the machine, which is inconveniently located outside the office, a couple buildings over from mine. that's the first pain in the ass. today was also a cold, snowy, windy day, and i was still in my sweats & t shirt. i went over, hoping it would accept the quarters i've accumulated for the old machines. ha ha, no. the card costs five bucks, 2 dollars of which goes toward the luxury of owning the card. so i went back to my place and came back with a bunch of ones. oh, wait--it doesn't take $1's--only 5's, 10's and 20's. so i had to run back to my apartment AGAIN for a five. you see, that's where the gimmick is. you have to put a sizeable amount of money on the card, and when you do, it's money spent, whether you ever use it or not. (you'd better not lose the card, either, or you're screwed.) AND, since all the money is handled at that one location, the laundry company doesn't have to go into the basement of each building to collect quarters. plus, it's all paper money. so while your money is tied up on the card, the company is already spending it for you.
as added insults, the dryer costs a 25 cents more, and the washer is a front loader, so you cant add an item after the machine's started. so if you find another sock somewhere after it's running, you gotta wash it next time, and for a compulsive perfectionist such as myself, that's a real bitch.
-------
the dream department: had a dream last night where i woke up to find i had gotten FIVE TATTOOS on my arms. and they were weird, pansy-assed ones, too, like cartoonish characters and random objects. i'm 100% against ever getting a tattoo, so it was a shock indeed. (why would you ever want to put something on your body for the rest of your life? at some point you're gonna say, "what the F*CK did i get this for?") but oddly enough, it was a bit of a thrill to have them--like i was all the sudden some kind of bad ass. but luckily, i woke up this morning with 0.00 tattoos anywhere. *whew*
and then the other part of the dream was: filly buccillo was a new employee at my workplace. (you know who HE is--"it's HUGE, Tom!") i can't stand that guy and i'm glad i don't work at his dealerships. he was being a jerk and i wanted to punch him in the mouth. he was pulling this incognito act for some reason, i was the only one who recognized him. i'm seeing a common thread in these dreams lately--i'm the only one who knows what the hell is going on.
then i woke up. the end.
for you faithful blarflovers: i will soon be posting the most grandiose blarf ever written. please stay tuned. sorry for the delay; my life's been a little apeshit lately. please accept this stopgap blarf for now. in the meantime, check out marley's new blarf ...i mean blog. ("blarf" is copyrighted by Ben's Daily Blarf, Inc., and may not be used without permission. unless you want to.) isn't it great to inspire someone to start their own blog??? who woulda thought my listless crap 'o blarf would inspire anyone?
leave love and comments.
just kidding about the incorporation. (it's only an LLC.) oh, and to billy fuccillo--just kidding! love ya! please don't send your mobster gestapo after me to break my kneecaps! *hugs*
