Rt. 81 northbound, south of Watertown, 3:30 am: one semi right ahead of me. another passing me on the left. and i just woke up.

as i awoke, i freaked, frantically grabbed the wheel, slammed on the brakes, and prepared for the impact of a relatively small Ford Explorer rear-ending a tractor trailer at 70 mph. my first thought was, "I FINALLY DID IT, I FELL ASLEEP DRIVING SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!" would the air bag go off? would i get hurt? killed? lose my new job? end up in a lawsuit? end up in the ditch, bleeding and hurt? "JEEZUS, HOW LONG IS IT GONNA TAKE TO STOP??" i couldn't punch the brakes hard enough.

it was all over in a second.

the semi that was passing me went on by. the semi ahead of me was stopped. so was i.

i hadn't even been moving.

i had been so freakin' tired that i didn't even remember pulling over into the rest area. i had parked behind a semi that was idling, as they usually do. my explorer was still running, too, to keep the A/C on. my headlights were still on. and the truck passing--he was doing about 5 mph on his way back out onto the highway. so when i woke up, i saw that: 1. my car was running, with dashboard and headlights aglow, and 2. the truck ahead of me had it's lights on and was going the same speed as me (this much was true--0 mph), and 3. the truck passing looked like it was going a few mph faster than me (which it was), and 4. the whole goddamn scenario looked exactly as it would have at 70 mph on the highway with my tired ass asleep at the wheel.

holy crap, that was scary. i thought i was gonna end up in a bag. i fell right back asleep though, so it was all just ducky.

Bug the Goat's Tip o' the Day:

"when pulling off into a rest area, TURN OFF THE CAR AND GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THOSE FRIGGIN' TRACTOR TRAILERS."