LANCE
Still got your Malibu?
VINCENT
Still got your Malibu?
VINCENT
Oh man, you know what some f**ker did the other day?
LANCE
What?
VINCENT
LANCE
What?
VINCENT
F**kin' keyed it.
LANCE
Oh man, that's f**ked up.
VINCENT
LANCE
Oh man, that's f**ked up.
VINCENT
Tell me about it. I had it in storage for three years. It was out five days, and some dickless piece of shit f**ked with it.
LANCE
They should be f**kin' killed, man. No trial, no jury, straight to execution.
VINCENT
Boy, I wish I caught him doin' it. Id'a given anything to catch that asshole doin' it. It'a been worth him doin' it, just so I coulda just caught him doin' it.
LANCE
LANCE
They should be f**kin' killed, man. No trial, no jury, straight to execution.
VINCENT
Boy, I wish I caught him doin' it. Id'a given anything to catch that asshole doin' it. It'a been worth him doin' it, just so I coulda just caught him doin' it.
LANCE
What a f**ker.
VINCENT
What's more chicken shit that f**kin' with a man's automobile? I mean, don't f**k with another man's vehicle.
LANCE
You don't do it. It's just against the rules.
-------
as i threw my arm behind the passenger seat and looked over my shoulder to back out of my spot this morning, i noticed that my belongings were spread out all over the back of my jeep. i subconsciously thought,
did i do that? why are my jumper cables on the floor? did i leave that funnel out? WHY IS THE LID TO MY STORAGE BOX LYING ON THE BACK SEAT? WTF IS GOING ON HERE?
that pissed me off quite enough. but it wasn't til i was a couple miles from home, in between thoughts of merciless thief beatings, that i thought to myself,
damn, it sure is quiet in here...WHERE THE F**K ARE MY STEREO SPEAKERS?!?
god DAMN it.
some dickless piece of shit had ripped open the back of my soft top and rooted through my storage bin full of jeep junk and stolen my 10" subwoofer speaker boxes. as added insult, there is also a small knife hole in one of the plastic side windows. i'm not sure what was taken out of the bin, if anything, other than a brand new, ultra-sharp machete. of all things to have stolen--a dangerous weapon--this is probably not the best thing to have out on the streets of syracuse. i hope the bastard tripped, fell, and eviscerated himself on it as he ran away. there must be other things gone because the bin has always been overflowing, and now the top fits & snaps on much easier cuz there's less stuff inside. i guess i'm better off not knowing what's missing, or i'd be even more pissed.
it's not the monetary loss that really bothers me. what really gets me is the total disrespect thieves have for other people when they do something like this. it would be one thing if a thief knocked on your door and said, "hey, i'm going to break into your car and steal shit. if you think you can stop me, go right ahead and try. here i go." --but they don't do that. that would be too honorable (if you can call stealing honorable.) they have to be cowardly to get the job done. they have to do it when everyone is sleeping so THE PISSED OFF OWNER DOESN'T BREAK EVERY VERTEBRAE IN THEIR F**KING SPINE WITH A TEE BALL BAT.
i know it won't do me any good, but i satisfied myself by going to walmart to buy just that--a nice, shiny, 14 oz., 2 1/2 foot long aluminum tee ball bat (also known as a "gangbanger") and i'm DYING to connect it to flesh and bone. i would gladly let someone steal from me all over again just to have the opportunity break both of their arms so they can't steal anything else for 6-8 weeks.
yeah, i know--i probably would never do that. i'd think twice about the legality and morality of doing so if that opportunity knocked, and in that split second, the thieving bastard would have just enough time to grab the bat from me and use it on my skull. or slash me with my machete. or both.
surprisingly enough, the dewitt police actually cared. when filing the report, the cop mentioned there have been many break-ins around this complex lately and they would have to start patrolling here more often. the guy was really cool--we talked about our bad luck with the state trooper academy--we were both rejected for bullshit reasons. now he's a seargent with the dewitt police...and i'm soon to be unemployed. but that's another story.
VINCENT
What's more chicken shit that f**kin' with a man's automobile? I mean, don't f**k with another man's vehicle.
LANCE
You don't do it. It's just against the rules.
-------
as i threw my arm behind the passenger seat and looked over my shoulder to back out of my spot this morning, i noticed that my belongings were spread out all over the back of my jeep. i subconsciously thought,
did i do that? why are my jumper cables on the floor? did i leave that funnel out? WHY IS THE LID TO MY STORAGE BOX LYING ON THE BACK SEAT? WTF IS GOING ON HERE?
that pissed me off quite enough. but it wasn't til i was a couple miles from home, in between thoughts of merciless thief beatings, that i thought to myself,
damn, it sure is quiet in here...WHERE THE F**K ARE MY STEREO SPEAKERS?!?
god DAMN it.
some dickless piece of shit had ripped open the back of my soft top and rooted through my storage bin full of jeep junk and stolen my 10" subwoofer speaker boxes. as added insult, there is also a small knife hole in one of the plastic side windows. i'm not sure what was taken out of the bin, if anything, other than a brand new, ultra-sharp machete. of all things to have stolen--a dangerous weapon--this is probably not the best thing to have out on the streets of syracuse. i hope the bastard tripped, fell, and eviscerated himself on it as he ran away. there must be other things gone because the bin has always been overflowing, and now the top fits & snaps on much easier cuz there's less stuff inside. i guess i'm better off not knowing what's missing, or i'd be even more pissed.
it's not the monetary loss that really bothers me. what really gets me is the total disrespect thieves have for other people when they do something like this. it would be one thing if a thief knocked on your door and said, "hey, i'm going to break into your car and steal shit. if you think you can stop me, go right ahead and try. here i go." --but they don't do that. that would be too honorable (if you can call stealing honorable.) they have to be cowardly to get the job done. they have to do it when everyone is sleeping so THE PISSED OFF OWNER DOESN'T BREAK EVERY VERTEBRAE IN THEIR F**KING SPINE WITH A TEE BALL BAT.
i know it won't do me any good, but i satisfied myself by going to walmart to buy just that--a nice, shiny, 14 oz., 2 1/2 foot long aluminum tee ball bat (also known as a "gangbanger") and i'm DYING to connect it to flesh and bone. i would gladly let someone steal from me all over again just to have the opportunity break both of their arms so they can't steal anything else for 6-8 weeks.
yeah, i know--i probably would never do that. i'd think twice about the legality and morality of doing so if that opportunity knocked, and in that split second, the thieving bastard would have just enough time to grab the bat from me and use it on my skull. or slash me with my machete. or both.
surprisingly enough, the dewitt police actually cared. when filing the report, the cop mentioned there have been many break-ins around this complex lately and they would have to start patrolling here more often. the guy was really cool--we talked about our bad luck with the state trooper academy--we were both rejected for bullshit reasons. now he's a seargent with the dewitt police...and i'm soon to be unemployed. but that's another story.
so that's my pissmoaning for the day. oh yeah, i had yet another car sale snatched away from me today. what a pisser. that too is another story for another day.
*BONK* *WHUNK* <--the sound a baseball bat makes on skulls. what beautiful music it is. i can't wait to hear it.
~and bonus points go to those of you who know what movie i quoted--come on, it's easy!
